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Discovering Your Absolute Value: Thriving Amidst the Positives and Negatives of Chronic Illness





Do you ever feel like your worth is tied to what you do—whether it's your job, productivity, or achievements? If you're like me, that feeling might seem completely normal, especially if you're in a profession where results are everything. As a business advisor, I spent countless hours helping women discover their unique value by showing them how their businesses could make a real impact on clients. I used to believe that value was tied to what you can produce for others: more clients, more money, more success.

But that belief was put to the test when, in 2019, I was diagnosed with Aggressive Onset Multiple Sclerosis. Suddenly, I wasn’t able to do much of anything. Simple tasks became monumental. I could no longer rely on my productivity to feel valuable. So, I asked myself—does my worth diminish when I can't perform?

I found my answer in an unlikely place: math.

The Concept of Absolute Value

One day, I stumbled upon the mathematical term “absolute value.” In math, the absolute value of a number is its distance from zero, regardless of whether it's positive or negative. For example, the absolute value of both 5 and -5 is 5. It doesn't matter if the number is in a positive or negative space—its value remains unchanged.

And it hit me: my value, like that number, doesn’t fluctuate based on circumstances. It remains constant, whether life is smooth or rocky, whether I’m able to do much or very little. My value is absolute.

Understanding Intrinsic and Extrinsic Value

To fully understand this, we have to distinguish between intrinsic and extrinsic value. Imagine yourself as a star.

  • Intrinsic Value: This is like the core of a star. It’s made up of the elements that naturally exist within you, such as kindness, creativity, resilience, or faith. These intrinsic values don’t depend on what you achieve—they are simply who you are.

  • Extrinsic Value: This is how your light shines into the world. When you're actively doing something—whether helping others, working, or simply showing up for a friend—that's your extrinsic value. But even if you’re not actively “producing,” your intrinsic light still shines.

The key here is this: your intrinsic value never changes. Even when you're not performing at your best or facing hardships, your value remains intact. Whether you’re making an impact on the world through grand actions or simply surviving, your light doesn’t diminish.

Crafting Your Personal Value Statement

Your Value Statement is a declaration of who you are at your core—your intrinsic worth. It serves as a guiding star, helping you navigate the ups and downs of life, career changes, health challenges, or even just the tough days when things aren’t going as planned. This statement is not tied to outcomes or what you do. Instead, it’s a reflection of your unchanging self—who you are regardless of circumstances.

Let’s walk through how to create your own Value Statement.


1. Identify Your Core Values and Strengths

Think about the values that guide you, the qualities that make you unique. These could be things like integrity, compassion, creativity, or faith. Write them down.

For example, your list might look like:

  • Faith

  • Adaptability

  • Kindness

  • Creativity

  • Resilience



2. Recognize How These Values Show Up in Your Life

Next, consider how these intrinsic values manifest in your life. Do you lean on your faith in times of hardship? Do you bring creativity into your work? Does your kindness shine through in your relationships? Recognizing how your core strengths are naturally present, even when you're not trying, will help you understand your unchanging worth.



3. Write Your Value Statement

Now, using your identified values and how they show up in your life, craft a statement that declares your intrinsic worth. It doesn’t have to be long or complicated. Start with a rough draft and tweak it until it truly reflects who you are. Here's an example:




4. Let Your Value Statement Guide You

Once you’ve created your Value Statement, use it as your North Star. It’s there for the days when you’re questioning your worth or when life throws curveballs. Whether you're in a high-powered career, switching jobs, or even just trying to survive a tough day, your value doesn’t change. Your light is still shining.





The Unchanging Nature of Your Value

At its core, your value is unchanging. Just like a star in the sky, your light shines regardless of external circumstances. You are valuable in every phase of life, whether you're actively achieving or simply being.

So, take time to reflect on your intrinsic worth, write down your Value Statement, and let it be a reminder of who you are—even when life gets tough. Your absolute value is constant, resilient, and uniquely yours.




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