Real, Raw and Rising. Anecdote 5

You know how life is sometimes not what you planned? Yup, that’s has basically been my story the last few weeks.

And while I kind of feel like I’m a over sharer, I also kind of feel like I want my people to know what’s going on. (If you’re reading this, you’re my people) I can feel your strength around me helping me and encouraging me. And am so beyond grateful for your love and prayers on my behalf.

I feel like I had been improving in my MS journey. While I still don’t have much feeling in my legs, I felt like I was adjusting pretty well to life. I’m working at my kids school in SPED (which I love) and have felt pretty good about how things were going in life and how I was adjusting to my new normal.

So when I started having troubles getting my legs to move, and they started getting unforgivable charley horses, I wasn’t sure what was happening with me.

MS is kind of weird in that you can have worsening of symptoms caused by things like being sick, heat, stress or infections. These symptoms come and go (sometimes several times throughout the day). Or you can have worsening of symptoms caused by a relapse (more active lesions in the brain). And Trying to decide which one you’re having is hard.

So after 3 days of my pain increasing and walking decreasing I decided to call my neurologist just to see what he thought. While I was waiting for him to call me back I had to run to the endodontist.

Remember that time in high school when I fell 30 feet and shattered my face and lots of teeth were damaged? Well, for some reason my body has recently decided to start absorbing the teeth that were traumatized all those years ago. Well, it just so happened that the same day I was feeling awful from my MS, I had an apt with the endodontist to see if he could save some of my teeth or if they needed to be pulled.

So, while I was sitting in the dental chair, explaining the story to my new endodontist of why my teeth were so damaged and why I have screws and plates in my face, and then why I was having a hard time walking and standing and the whole MS thing, the neurologist called telling me to go to the ER to start infusions and get an MRI he thought I was most liking having a relapse.

Sigh, so I finished my dental apt, (where the endodontist said my teeth were a very unique case, because not only were my teeth being absorbed, but the canals had also calcified making root canals very tricky. But he still wanted to try but to know there was a high possibility it wouldn’t work) Anyway, I finished my apt, arranged kid care and drove myself to the ER. (Wally was gone)

MRI confirmed that I did have several active new lesions, and was indeed having a relapse. So the doc started me on a IV infusion in the ER. Then sent me home with instructions to come back a few hours the next several day and finish them at the infusion center. (Which I did )

In the midst of all this, the tooth behind the one the dentist was looking at, (it already had a root canal and crown) broke off. (Stupid milk duds)

But I was starting to feel so much better from the infusions. I had regained most of my mobility again and my pain was under control.

So, I had my root canal which the appointment took 3 hours because of its unique nature. BUT so far it looks good so hopefully it won’t end up having to to pulled. Yeah!!

Life was looking up again.

Then today, while I was at church, I started getting really hot. As I got up to leave I couldn’t make my legs work. (This is a psuedo flair caused by heat). They were collapsing underneath me. Bless my sweet kids hearts. Cole and Avery immediately got on each side of me to keep me from falling and helped me into the foyer. I am still so embarrassed. It happened so fast. And of course once I realized I had no control over my legs, the tears automatically started to flow. (I’ve never had control over my tears though, so this wasn’t new). Wally got me home and between rest and just cooling down I’m doing ok again. I’m still so mortified I wasn’t more prepared and that I lost control so quickly. I had been feeling so much better since my infusions so hadn’t taken my cane or walker to church.

It’s been a hard few week. But I also see the miracles.

My co workers are amazing and help me laugh and see outside my own problems.

The night I went to the ER was our ward Halloween party. My neighbors teenage son asked if he could take my kids so they wouldn’t miss. So beyond grateful.

The day after the ER was Halloween. I felt awful but wanted so much to be with my kids at our cities Mayors walk and carnival. A sweet family let us cut to the very front of the line so I wouldn’t have to wait.

Today, a sweet friend grabbed my kids and immediately took care of them at church so I wouldn’t have to worry.

And my sweet husband let me cry on his shoulder for hours today. I don’t know how I got so lucky.

And this one might be a little vain but, I’m so grateful that even though I feel terrible, I don’t look terrible.

This is hard. I’m not a fan of what’s happening to me. And at the same time, I see so many amazing things. People are amazing. Kindness and love surrounds our family in a way I’ll never be able to repay. I’m so blessed to have you all as my people.