So, I've been told I have MS.
It happened so fast that I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all. But, the thing about me is, I love to write. And, for me, inspiration comes at the end of a pen (or keyboard in this case). From the moment I entered the ER to now, I've had this consistent thought "do not be timid about the truth". Not the sugar coated version of the truth, but the real and raw version of things. The version that say's, "Yes, this is hard. But I can learn from it, and Rise from it."
This is what I posted on facebook to let my friends and family know what was going on. It's not edited, nor do I want it to be. This is the real and raw of the moment.
The short version: 🏩I walked into the ER on Friday and several hours later was complete numb and couldn’t walk anymore and now I have MS and it’s all going to be a huge life change but I’m going to be okay. 💗
The long but more interesting version. Oh my sweet friends. I am so beyond words grateful for each and every prayer that has come to me. I never knew how powerfully I could feel others prayers until now. And I know it’s from you. And I also realize that while you’ve been praying so hard for me, you’re praying in complete faith because you don’t really know what’s happening. So, i thought I’d give you all a run down of what’s happened the last few days. ☺️ 🦶🏻On Wednesday 10th- i had some tingling in my toes. It was kind of annoying me and my co- workers were like “sounds like a pinched nerve in your back. Go see a chiropractor “ so I made an apt for the next day. 🦵🏻Thursday - 800am the tingling from my toes had spread up to my thighs. I went to my chiropractor apt and Dr Smiun was amazing. He listened to me and basically said that what I was experiencing wasn’t a pinched nerve and couldn’t be fixed with chiropractic. And he recommended I go to a neurologist dr Buchanan. I needed a referral to go and so I called my friend Tori who is a NP at basin clinic. ✍🏼She told me she wasn’t working but I needed to see someone right away. Usually I would have just gone to anyone else in the clinic but Wally mentioned how much he respected Dr Kendal. And i should see her. So I called her instead which turned into a huge little blessing because she’s awesome and the neurologist was so close to her office. 🤚🏻Friday morning 12th- 815 am. Got in to see dr Kendal and the numbness in my legs had moved to my mid hips and my fingers and hands were also starting to tingle. I could see immediately that she was very concerned. In fact she told me she was very concerned and she was going next door to see the neurologist and get his opinion. 👨🏼Dr Buchanan told Dr Kendal she needed to get labs and MRI’s stat. So Dr Kendal ordered them, 🧩but my insurance said they wouldn’t approve it for 3 days. (So working days that wouldn’t be until Wednesday) 🙇🏽♀️Dr Kendal called them back and plead my case to them but they still said they couldn’t get it approved until Monday. Even with rushing it. And if I needed it then it would be $15,000 up front. 🤷🏻♂️ So dr Kendal sent me home. She was amazing and said she’d call me as soon as it was approved. (Side note, imaging said they couldn’t even have ER do it. Because I wasn’t critical) By then I knew whatever was happening to me was more serious than a pinched nerve but could only wait. So I called Wally to have him come home and take kids from school to soccer and such and I took a nap. 😴
Friday evening -600 ish. I woke up and my arms were completely numb. And legs to my belly button. 😧But what’s freaked me out was my right side of my face had gone numb into my throat and I was having a very hard time swallowing. Wally was with kids at soccer.
I was thinking to myself I think I need a doctor but they told me they couldn’t do anything unless I had $15,000. But then the clearer part of my head told me to text my sister and get another opinion. She told me to get to the ER immediately that if I choked I could die. ☠️ That was my wake up that I needed help now. 🙀 I called Wally who pulled kids from soccer and then I called the amazing Trish Hardman. Basically saying “I’m having an emergency i can’t fill you in right now but I’m leaving for the ER right now can you come get my kids”😵 I left my kids crying knowing trish was on her way and I took off to the ER with Wally. I walked into the ER and it was really hard to move my legs. 🦵🏻🦵🏻 They saw me right away and immediately I could tell dr Dean Anderson was very concerned. In fact he told me he was and that it was his job to get me noticed and to the people who could help me. He called dr Buchanan again and came back to me saying “we’re not playing the insurance game we’re admitting you right now and having the tests you need done.”😃 They called in the MRI staff and told Wally I’d be several hours and he couldn’t come in the room. So he left to figure out kids and called my dad who lives 3 hours away to come stay with kids overnight.🗣 The MRI was rough. I kept getting nauseous and throwing up and it took a long time to figure out the right meds so they could complete the test. 🤢🤮
🙀By the time I got done several hours later I couldn’t stand or move my legs. My upper shoulders were numb and my upper back. As well as my arms and right side of my face and neck.
They put me in a hospital room where dr Buchanan was waiting for me.
🧠🧠He told me results were not normal. That i had lesions all over my brain and down my spine. And we needed to run more tests. But that he was fairly certain I have MS. I of course am in complete shock. I don’t even know what MS entailed. Wally wasn’t back yet so the doc called him and talked to him about it. And said that I needed to stay in the hospital for several days. By then my dad had gotten into town to take over childcare and Wally came back with me.
👀The next several days have been a crazy blur of a lumbar/spinal tap and like 25vials of blood drawn.
👩🦳They started me on steroids which has helped the feeling come back in my whole upper body. But I still can’t feel my left leg below the knee and my right leg from the calf down. They haven’t given me much info but keep saying “you’ll have good days and bad days. This might be your new normal but we have to wait and see”
They’re waiting for the test and bloodwork to come back to come up with a better drug plan for what will happen next. I am going home in the morning. My in-laws will be here helping at my house until Friday. We have been so grateful for the food that has come in.
As of today, TUESDAY the 16th I’m very unstable walking and my legs shake like crazy but it’s doable with the walker.
We’ve seen about a million miracles that would take an entire book. And I feel the power of heaven in everyone who is caring for me and even in the spirits you can’t see with human eyes.
I’ve been told that I’ll have good and bad and that it’s okay. I’m not angry or vengeful. I have hope. And faith that I can do hard things.
We’re focusing on the now. I can’t think to much yet what life will be like until my body adjust a little more. And it’s okay.
I hope you know how much I love you all. I can feel your prayers and your love in a way i never have felt in this life. It’s been such a light in the crazy that has happened.
And I really am so tired so I didn’t have this professionally edited and so don’t leave me bad reviews 💋
And Brea white got to be my nurse!!! How cool is that!
Looking back, I am so grateful to the people seen and unseen who were around me. I felt immediately that I wasn't alone and still feel it weeks later while I write this. Here is a quote I've loved for a long time, but now, I don't just love it, I feel it.
In the gospel of Jesus Christ
you have help from both sides of the veil,
and you must never forget that.
When disappointment and discouragement strike...
you remember and never forget
that if our eyes could be opened we would see
horses and chariots of fire
as far as the eye can see riding at reckless speed
to come to our protection
-Jeffrey R. Holland
I know it was a long read so I'll leave it at that for the night. But, keep checking back for regular updates.